I have been wondering exactly how to approach this post for a while. 

I try to keep my personal life to myself for the most part. And I have done a pretty good job of doing that. I have a way of compartmentalizing my life because it helps me to be more effective in my work when I am focused on the task at hand. It is a tactic that has also helped me grapple with some hard truths throughout the years.

This year has been a tough one, though. And what I am feeling, I am certain, is probably not unique to me.

As I finished my 12th year of teaching, there was much I celebrated. It is arguably the most successful one I have had in my career. My students soared in competitions and I was personally invited to present about my passions in education in a variety of venues, including ECET2 (which blew my mind). If I started listing them off, not to sound conceded, it is impressive. 

But with every new accomplishment and accolade, I have had trouble with allowing myself to really celebrate it. 

This was also the year I was diagnosed with PCOS, which has helped explain why my husband and I have been unable to have a baby after 6 years of trying. 

My husband and I celebrated our 12th year of marriage this summer. And up until my 30's everything was really going according to plan. I graduated from high school, got engaged, graduated from college, got married, got a job, graduated from college again with my masters... all with great accuracy to the plan I had mapped out for myself early on and then some with added successes for both my students and myself.

But, some plans are beyond control... which is unfortunate.

And even more unfortunate is how I have allowed this personal biological lacking to seep into the otherwise joyful professional moments of last school year and tinge it with a feeling of failure for every success. 

I am not writing this post as a search for sympathy or even suggestions of what to do next. The truth is, I don't know what I want to do next in this aspect of my life. And that has to be okay for now. At least, it has to be for me because I am the one who has to face it. 

I am sharing in the hopes that if you are struggling, too, you know you are not alone. 

So, as I just celebrated my 35th birthday, I have some facts to face about how I plan to cope moving forward. 

It was important and the right time for me to share this part of my struggle. In the short run, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions, many of which include failure. In the long run, I know it will help me be more compassionate, more understanding, and more emotionally available to others both in and out of the classroom.

To anyone else who is struggling, too, just know you are not alone and that it is okay to feel sad, even when all evidence shows you otherwise.

As a quote from Vanilla Sky sums it up for me: Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour. 

​And the list goes on... 

The last list dealt with sessions from the conference (the ones I attended and the ones I was presenting). In my sights post, I listed places learning happened outside of the conference center. 

This post, though, is probably the most important. 

More than the place or the learning, a great conference happens because of the people who are there and the connections that are made. This year continued the traditions of meeting up with online friends (some I have known for nearly a decade now), meeting up with long-time friends, and even throwing some family in the mix.

I remember the first NAEA conference I attended. 

I was so nervous and more awkward than usual as I anxiously met many of my #artsedheroes face to face. I will never forget that first conference and how different it was this year; instead of feeling awkward and a little bit alone, I knew a friendly face around each corner and often met them with a hug and a smile. I am really proud of the relationships that have grown as a result of the connections I have made with other teachers at the conference and through social media. 

It makes saying good-bye at the end of the conference not so bad, because I know I am going to see and hear from them soon.

I have met so many generous teachers throughout the years - many online. I am so thankful for the connections I have made on Twitter and Facebook and how those connections have really transformed my approach to teaching (which I spoke about here).

These connections have led to keynotes in three States, published work, and so many ideas that have helped me become a better teacher and my students produce more meaningful work.

When I go to a conference, we swap stories of student success (and epic teacher fails) and laugh a lot in the process. We catch up on families, hometown happenings, and future endeavors. I am not sure if I will be at #NAEA17, but one thing that would draw me there is my #artsedPLN.

Carrie Jeruzal and I became friends during our first trip to Chicago, one day after meeting each other.

We were both enrolled in the Master of Arts in Art Education program at Western Michigan University. As a part of our Alternative Photo Processing class, we took an overnight trip to Chicago and toured many of the museums listed in this post. During that short time, Carrie and I became fast friends (she talked me into join MAEA and presenting at my first conference).

We were also roomies. 

So when it comes to conferences, we try to room together (as we did this year) making our "roomie" pic ever so fitting. 

My older sister, Elaine, is also an Art teacher. 

When I tell anyone that, they automatically make the leap that she must be the reason why I also became an Art teacher. I used to really deny that as even a possibility, but who am I kidding? Of course my older sister (the person I grew up idolizing and annoying) had an impact on my choice to become a teacher. 

I am so glad she has gotten back into teaching and attending conferences with me. I am thankful for her friendship, understanding, and ability to let me be me. 

We may not always be on the same page, but we are part of the same book.

I am thankful she is my sister and that I have family with which to share this experience. Although, I am sure we were both ready to go to our respective homes after several days of continuous contact... 

And the list goes on... 

In my last post, I spent the whole time reviewing places where learning happens outside of the conference center. It took me a few years to realize this was an important part of attending a National Art Education event (and I could really kick myself for not doing do sooner)...

However, it would not be much of a conference recap, if the sessions were not a part of it. Please feel free to post your favorite "ah-ha" moments, sessions, and favorite speakers in the comments below (because I selfishly want to know more). (disclaimer: This is in no way a comprehensive list of all the amazing things that happened at the conference - although I wish I could clone/time travel/speed warp during it so I could've offered that.)

It is always super charging to return from a great conference. Hearing inspiring stories, learning new techniques, and seeing amazing feats performed by my peers leaves me filled with hope (and some envy) that maybe I can do it, too. 

I try to be mindful in those moments because this time of year can be brutally difficult for me (I am still working up the courage to share more on that one). Seeing, learning, and sharing what is possible with others helps break me from the strangle-hold the mid-year blues can bring and I am incredibly thankful for that. 

Most of the vendors did not disappoint.

​They had their freebies ready (although some made you earn it through activities, which to be frank, I was kind of annoyed with) and some upped their game with interactive options to pose as your favorite work of art or artist. This is all very fun, but my favorite parts of being in the hall is to see what new things they are showcasing or what old things I can use in new ways...

It would not be a great conference without the presenters (most of whom give their time and expertise for free - even paying their own way to travel and attend the conference). If it were not for these teachers who spend months preparing proposals (many of which are rejected), getting together slides (although one of my favorite presentations this year had none), and taking their time away from attending sessions so they can help teachers like me learn more (and then pass that learning onto my students), there would be no conference.

From design thinking, to technology integration, TAB (Teaching Artistic Behavior), and more, the sessions did not disappoint and I am excited to bring everything I learned back to my classroom. 

I have had the privilege of presenting at conferences ever since Carrie (my conference buddy) convinced me to co-present with her at the 2008 MAEA Conference. I blame her for the giving me the sharing bug, that I probably will never shake. 

It also helps that I have seen some of the most inspirational speakers over the years (one of my first and most memorable is Rick Wormelli, who really made me think "I want to do that."). 

This year, I had the most fun presenting because the pressure was off a little. The two presentations I was in were with other teachers I admire and enjoy being around (Theresa McGee, Holly Bess Kincaid, Stacy Lord, and Cassie Stephens). If you did not get a chance to be a part of the fun, you can access the presentations below.

I approached Cassie Stephens with the idea of presenting together once a call for presentations became open. She was super gracious to accept and we had a blast working together on our presentation that explored how we use collaboration, permanent (and sometimes not so permanent) installations, and social media to connect with others to leave a lasting impact.

I have gotten to know Stacy, Theresa, and Holly over the past seven years (with our first face-to-face in 2013. These ladies are some of the best teachers (and friends) out there. It was a blast to respin our presentation (first tested out at #NAEA15) and share ideas about how we integrate technology, engage learners, assess students, and make meaningful connections in our classrooms. TEAM middle will hopefully be back again for #NAEA17 to share even more tips and tricks from the center of education. 

As I explained in the opener to this list idea, I am a list person.

It is fun for me to plan out ideas/events/goals way in advance and over time, scratch each component that reaches that off from it (sometimes it is physically on paper, but often it is in my mind's eye).

So, to start out this series of lists, here are some of my most favorite sights from #NAEA16 - if you have any you would like to add, please comment below. (disclaimer: This is in no way a complete list of all of the amazing places you could go while in Chicago, but it was what I was able to get to during my short stay.)

Being that I live about two and a half hours from Chicago, I have been going their annually for about the last ten years. Before that, I grew up going to the Windy City as a part of an annual November "girls trip" with my mom, cousin, and aunt.

When I go now, it is usually a day trip with my hubby and we usually hit the same venues (Art Institute, Millennium Park, Magnificent Mile, Home). Because I was experiencing #NAEA16 here, I had the time and excuse to finally discover areas of the city I had never experienced as well as spend time in my favorite go-to spots. (side note: I wonder how many other places (both actual and metaphorical) I need to do more exploring in because they have seemed become routine...)

I rode the train to Chicago, which gave me a chance to see the route in a new and interesting way. I loved the train experience (although it was not quite as depicted as it is in White Christmas). 

This trip marked my FIRST ever train ride. I was unsure of what to expect (since my only knowledge of trains is from 1950s musicals) and I was not disappointed in the comfort and ease offered through Amtrak.

​From the free wi-fi to the big comfy seats and somewhat unusual views, I felt totally relaxed during the ride from Holland, MI to Chicago, IL. I know I will use this mode of transportation again soon when I make my next trek to the Windy City! 

Part of attending an Art Education Conference away from my home state is also experiencing the accompanying Art Museums as research for curriculum. I was so inspired by the work at the following places and I am excited to bring the new ideas to students in the classroom.

I always visit the Art Institute of Chicago when I visit. Even though it might seem like going to the same place over and over again could get boring, I am totally engaged and excited to see the ever-changing special exhibits (like Van Gogh's Bedroom) as well as the permanent collection (the contemporary art wing is my favorite part). I was particularly excited with the amount of Science connections made in the Van Gogh exhibit, as they compared the three bedroom paintings and even explained how they used journal writings, X-rays, and particle examinations to get an idea of when they were made.

It reinforced the notion I have that sketchbooks should be taught as a way for students to work out ideas and that iteration is okay. One and done is often how I have approached lessons or projects in the past and I found permission within this exhibit to allow myself and my students to really spend time with an idea and work it out.

I really enjoyed this stop on the way back from the Art Institute to our hotel. 

For those unfamiliar, The MOCP was founded by Columbia College Chicago in 1976. It is free to the public and offers an amazing experience for those who venture in. It happened to be a collection celebrating their 40th anniversary this year. 

In addition to seeing floor to ceiling collections of what 40 years of photography can look like, there was also a very kinetic-looking installation that involved woven and cut photographs, suspended in air through the use of colorful and sometimes tangled string.

As I viewed the differences in approach to displays, I kept thinking that there must be something I can do with weaving paper forms and hanging them alongside the more formal pieces of work we have for our upcoming Arts festival. I am going to have to keep simmering on that one for a while... 

After seeing and hearing from others at the conference about the Strandbeest exhibit at the Cultural Center, I had to make sure to visit this place before leaving on Saturday.

I am super glad I was able to make it work because I made SO many connections in Theo Jansen's work with what the STEM teacher and I are trying to do in our collaborations with students. To see the amount of work Jansen put into developing sketches, prototypes, and systems to create these kinetic sculptures, I felt validated in the amount of planning I make my students do before they get going with a final work. 

You can see part of the process (as well as how I got to push one) and a more detailed video of these beests in action below.

Chicago is a city that offers as much opportunity to engage with art outside as it does within the walls of its' beautiful buildings. Here are a few parks we encountered when taking time away from the conference center to engage in the crisp Spring sunshine (with some clouds).

I am not a super foodie by any means. 

I am kind of notorious by those who know me best to go on a conference fast. I have had a horrible reputation for just not eating when I attend one of these. I am usually nervous about my presentations and time-crunched to really take care of myself.

This year, with the help of my good friends and my husband, I broke that stupid habit and made sure to eat well (which is probably why this is the first time in a long time I haven't gotten deathly ill afterwards).

Also with the help of my PLN, I was able to try new places I had never heard of before. 

One of my favorites, that I will make sure to embed as a staple of any visit, was Do-Rite Donuts. This place was strongly suggested by Cathy (who, as an Australian, apparently had no real experience with donuts until Chris brought her one of these). 

​It has been over a week since I returned home from Chicago, but my brain is still swimming through an overload of inspiration and information.

For #NAEA15, I tried to wade through and reflect on all of the events in a five-part series. It was fun to try and find common themes throughout the conference in hopes that others might be able to make connections for themselves as well as use them as guidelines for how to navigate my conference experience.

​This year, however, I am going to try and wrap it up in a three-part list that groups together the sights, connections, and sessions I was able to experience. 

​I am a list person.

I was not always that type of person; it was something I married into (my husband has lists for lists) and something I get a surprising amount of satisfaction in doing (and crossing things off from it once it is done). There is something about an agenda, goal, or at least a guise of order that puts me at ease.

Maybe that makes me a little less original or spontaneous or cool, but I am good with it because my anxiety without such things is far, far worse.

In order to get ready for the conference, I thought of the list of things I want to experience (sights, sounds, and tastes of the city), people I wanted to connect with (new and old friends from around the country - and beyond), and knowledge I wanted to learn and share. 

So, please stay tuned as I start to roll out my three major lists from this year's conference: 

The Sights

The Sessions

The Connections

If you have any additions you would like to share, please do.

​I am sure I missed a ton of great things from the conference (or even from the home editions) and would love to learn more from you! 

I am not going to lie and say I am totally ready for what the next few days bring. I am still working my way out of a pre-Spring slump and I am super excited to fully loose the grip of the Winter Blues when I meet up with my favorite teachers from across the country tomorrow! 

This year marks my 4th NAEA and I have a feeling it is going to be better than ever! 

To reflect on the awesomeness that is going to ensue, here is a recap of some of my tips from last year and how I am planning to apply it this time around:

1. Connect... 
2. Include Others...
3. Be Inspired...
4. Explore the City...
5. Give it up...

One of my favorite things to do at any conference is connect with others whom I normally chat with over posts on Facebook or Twitter face to face. I am excited to say I even get to present with a few of the folks who started out as people I admired from afar online. I am really excited to get to see the "gang" again as we all get together, many sporting the #arstedpln shirts as designed below by Tales From The Traveling Art Teacher, Heidi O'Hanley.

It was super fun to encourage my sister and friend to join the NAEA madness over the last two years. This year, I am excited to see some more local MI teachers at the conference for the first time this year, taking advantage of the location being so close! I cannot wait to get with some of my colleagues after we get back to our schools and share resources and take-aways from the weekend! 

It is hard to predict exactly how inspiration is going take shape as I imagine the conference. I know that the vendors will not disappoint with their displays and samples. I know that the sessions I have lined up using the NAEA App will also allow me to leave Chicago with a head full of ideas that will energize me through the rest of the school year! 

Being from Michigan, I have visited the Windy City many times over the years. Although I have been there a bunch, I am excited to venture off to new places and experience new adventures with my fellow art teachers. I am especially excited to hang out with local teachers who have insights in what needs to be experienced while in town. 

I am very excited to present in two sessions this year. It is so important to share your work with others and gain the same when others share with you. I always feel like I get way more than I give at these conferences and I am super excited to take those ideas back to my students.

​If you get a chance, come and see me present with an all-star line-up on Friday and Saturday morning! 

I hope those tips help you have a great #NAEA16! Above all, have safe travels to Chicago and enjoy the time to gather with other teachers to celebrate our craft! If you are unable to attend, you can follow the fun on Twitter.

I have had the privilege of attending many MACUL conferences over the past Eight years. I will never forget my first experience and how completely blown away I was when I listened to speakers like Hall Davidson, Rushton Hurley, and Vicki Davis share their vision for technology integration in the classroom. 

I was so inspired that first time around, that I started applying for MACUL grants to get new technologies into my classroom and then I started to present, too. 

Even though I was only able to spend a day at MACUL this year, I still left inspired and excited for ideas I could bring back into my classroom. I also approached it a little differently this year because instead of going alone and not knowing anyone, I have made so many friends along the way and made sure to connect with them, even if it was for brief moments between sessions. 

This past weekend, I had the pleasure and honor to speak as a Cultivating a Calling Keynote for the Elevating and Celebrating Effective Teachers and Teaching Conference (ECET2) in San Diego, California. I was nominated to be a speaker by my friend and fellow Art Teacher, Chris Parker. 

When I was first invited to send in my teaching story, I was a little stumped. I have given keynotes and presentations before, so the public speaking part wasn't a big problem.

It was the prompt.

I am used to talking about my classroom and what my students are doing and how I teach them using various tools. For this keynote, I had to start thinking about my teaching story and my journey to the teacher I am today. 

With some help from an amazing speech coach, my friends, and family, I was able to deliver my story to a very generous and loving crowd of teachers last Saturday.

I explained my struggles as a learner and how I was able to gain confidence by being given a leadership opportunity in dance. I tried to model my transformation as a teacher by reliving what it felt like to receive three pink slips over the course of 18 months and use that feeling of failure to fall forward, rather than give up. 

I talked about Anna, who I use often as an example in my talks, and how she went from a student who wrote "I am not an artist," to a National Gold Medalist at the Scholastic Awards and celebrated at Carnegie Hall within one year. And I talked about how her transformation is linked to mine because we both embraced our creativity and were willing to share it with others online to help us grow even more. 

I have had an awesome four days in sunny California (and I must have brought some of that sun back to MI today), but I am even more excited to bring back the amazing things I learned to the teachers I get to work with and the students I get to teach. 

I will share more later, but for now you can view my keynote experience below.

Every year is the best one yet.

There are so many things that happened this year that I could not have predicted and I am very thankful for that. Even so, there are some things I have yet to accomplish that I am very hopeful for in the coming year.

I do not have a list of resolutions, just a focus on wanting to be better, more positive, and hopeful for the "what ifs" that are both exciting and unknown. I know 2016 is poising itself to be ever better, but before I finally say goodbye to 2015, here are a few of the things that made it one heck of time in my life:  

This was the year I got back to making art on a semi-regular basis. It is funny to think as an art teacher I would have trouble making art myself. This year I made a point to carve out time to learn new techniques, paint paintings I have had in my mind for years, and explore what I love most: drawing. Here's to even more making in 2016!

This year was filled with sharing various tips and tricks for building, maintaining, and growing a great program. As a way to give back to the #artsed community that has helped nurture me into the teacher I am today, I feel it is important to share what has worked, what has not, and what is possible when you reach out, try new things, and let your students lead their learning experiences. FromMACUL, NAEA, AOE Live, #k12artsedchat, and finally MAEA, it was a blast to learn and share with teachers wanting to improve their craft, too!

​I already have some exciting ways I plan to share even more in 2016 (even as soon as January for ECET2 in San Diego), but I am very thankful for having the opportunities in 2015 to work both face to face and online with the best community I know! 

The biggest jump for me as a teacher has been from stepping back. I moved to a Design Thinking Process with students that focuses on making original works through the examination ofThemes. By allowing my students to take the lead when it comes to their learning, I have been amazed with how much more energized and excited I have become in the process.

​Instead of always knowing how things are going to turn out with each lesson, I am surprised with outcomes like a flowered-crocheted ski mask, golden venture jewelry, and many other new uses for symbols and materials that I might not have ever discovered without my students taking charge. I am so thankful that I took this leap into the unknown and am excited about the new discoveries to come in 2016!

Whatever 2016 brings, I know it will be greeted with a smile and a heart filled with hope. I had such a fun 2015 and am excited for whatever happens next! 

Last weekend I was in downtown Grand Rapids for the annual MAEA Conference. In addition to presenting in four sessions, I also got to learn SOOO many amazing things from great artists and teachers alike!

I have been wanting to post this since Sunday, but with The Fire Up! Student Teacher Conference on Monday and Parent-Teacher Conferences this week, as well as putting our first issue of the school newspaper to print, I have been SWAMPED. We all have our excuses, which are  not really a reason to ditch duties, but I finally feel like I have some time to sit, reflect, and share my favorite moments from #MAEA15.

Here are my top three highlights from the weekend:

I learned a ton this past weekend. I would say it was one of the most content-rich conferences I can remember! I think what made the learning so powerful was that I got to create while I was learning. From making jewelry with the pre-service teachers at Grand Valley State University, to drawing with ArtPrize winner Adonna Kare, to dying scarves (which I cannot wait to do with my students), it was a whirlwind of activity that allowed me to stretch my creative mind and learn along the way.

I had the pleasure of presenting 4 sessions at this conference. I got to share ideas about technology and collaborating with STEM, using thematic units and standards-based grading, as well as monoprinting with Gelli Arts printing plates. It is always fun to give back by presenting at these sessions, and I want to give a special shout-out to Gelli Arts, Schoology, TechSmith, andiPevo, who gave me goodies to pass on to teachers.

My favorite parts of any conference is connecting with teachers I do not get to see everyday. This included teachers I have connected with online and finally met face to face, people I nominated for awards (like Jim Meyers from Artsonia) and my sister, who teaches Art in Indiana and makes the trek north to come to MAEA. The people are the reason I go to these conferences. 

I had a great time attending MAEA in Grand Rapids, and I am super excited for next fall, when we will meet in Traverse City! Now, I need to go and rest. I have some fun presentations and interactions to prepare for in the coming weeks.

I hope to see you on Twitter this Thursday for this: